Flick Face-Off: Hamlet 2, College, Babylon AD, Disaster, Traitor

Okay, I give up. There has to be something wrong in the world when Vin Diesel is starring in the most commercially appealing new movie released in any given week (not counting the Pitch Black Vin era, which rocked). I haven’t heard any of the reviews for any of these movies. I avoid such things if I can. But this week, I’m going one step further. I’m going to avoid these movies. Okay, as schlocky as Babylon AD looks, it has good bit of geek-baiting charm. I might see it if I have time. Out of all of them, Don Cheadle‘s Traitor seems to have the most potential for actually being good, but no amount of Bourne Supremacy look-alike name-dropping in the tv commercials is going to make it a blockbuster.

I won’t even comment on how terrified I feel for humanity if one ticket is sold for Disaster Movie. People! All you need to know is in the title! If you want to see the ample assets of Kim Kardashian and Carmen Electra, you DO have the internet, probably for a fraction of the cost, lots more skin on demand, and none of the embarrassment involved in actually being seen walking anywhere near a theater playing that movie. College appears only moderately better, but I think I’d rather just watch the Jar Jar scenes from Episode 1 than pay for that movie. I’m torn on Hamlet 2, which despite it’s love affair with blasphemy, has a lot of funny people in it that I love. I always enjoy me some religious lampooning, but only if it’s done cleverly. The commercials don’t seem to reach “clever” status, just “cheap shock” status. Of any of the comedies, Hamlet 2 would be it. For decent effects driven fun, Babylon AD could do it. For quality film making and storytelling, Traitor could be the film to see this week. But I’ve been wrong before…

Maybe I’ll just go see the Dark Knight again, if it’s still in IMAX…

Anyway, with such a glut of new junk filling the screens this labor day weekend, Tropic Thunder could hold onto its lead, leaving the newbies to pick up the scraps (dear god, please don’t let Disaster Movie take top spot!). I don’t imagine any of the 5 new films will break $10 million each.

As for last week, the House Bunny beat all expectations and her new release competitors, but not Tropic Thunder. I guessed $12m for Bunny, but she got $14.5m. Death Race came in 3rd with $12.6m even though I guessed $18m. And poor poor Rainn Wilson, the Rocker, came in at 12th with only $2.6m. Holy crap! My friend and I must have been the only ones to see that last week (I actually enjoyed it too). But I don’t remember my ticket costing $1.3 million dollars. Hmmm… I’d better check my bank account…