New Buffy Movie without Whedon or Gellar? Blasphemy!

Buffy is about to face yet another apocalypse. This time, possibly without Joss Whedon, Sarah Michelle Gellar, or anyone else from the much beloved TV cast. Who would dare commit such a crime against nature… errr, fandom? Who is this dark harbinger of doom? His name is Roy. Roy Lee. Roy, along with Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are joining forces with the original Buffy movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz, to re-make Buffy in a way that’s un-tethered to what’s come before… everything that has made Buffy the cultural phenomenon it is today. And, no, they haven’t talked to Joss yet. If he wants any say in how this movie turns out, he has to audition with the rest of the writers they’re courting for the project.

I know. Just take a deep breath. We WILL work through this unrelenting rage you’re probably feeling right now, Buffy fans and Whedonites. I know what you’re thinking. How can they even consider such a thing? How do they even have the rights to see it through without consulting Joss first? Well, the Hollywood Reporter has more details on the subject, but all I can say is that Kuzui, being the one that purchased the script from Whedon back in the day, never relinquished their production rights to the character and also retained an executive producers credit on the tv series as well.

Buffy fans would love to see a big screen continuation of the story and characters we have all learned to love, but it’s universally agreed that a Buffy without Joss or its core actors would be reviled and rallied against from day one. Oh, that’s right… it’s already begun and this story is a little more than 3 hours old!

Don’t they realize just how obsessive and vocal the Buffy/Whedon fans are? Don’t they realize that their names will soon be mud before we’re through with them? They won’t be able to rent a movie, much less make a movie about Buffy by the time fandom has finished tearing them a new one.

But I do have to admit that I’m not a hater of the original movie, despite much of the drama that surrounds it (Paul Reubens‘ endless death scene steals the film). It had its moments, even though it doesn’t hold a candle to the tv series that redefined serialized storytelling and television as a whole during the 7 years that it aired on the WB and UPN. There’s a reason it’s called one of the greatest tv series ever made.

I realize that Kuzui and company are hungry for some of that bloody Twilight vampire money and that the idea of a reboot/remake isn’t as horrible of a prospect as it was a few weeks ago before the re-imagined Star Trek film equalled boffo box office, but I’m pretty sure they have no idea what they’d be getting into if they made a brand new movie about a vapid teenage girl called upon to fight the undead hordes without taking into account anything that’s come before it. Buffy’s story is still being told in comic form from Dark Horse comics, overseen and written by Joss and many of the writers from the acclaimed tv series. There’s no reason to reboot it.

But while it’s pretty much a given that Whedon/Buffy fans around the globe will revolt at a Whedon-less Buffy movie, here’s one option I want to throw out that might soften the blow and allow them to make a movie without us rioting in the streets and boycotting it outright should our efforts not stop production before it gets started:
The movie could be about the Slayer, but not be about Buffy. If it becomes a Japanese film, even better. We could pretend that this is an alternate universe Slayer or a slightly different time period before Buffy became the Slayer or whatever. I can totally see a crazy hyper-kung fu asian action comedy monster flick about Tamaki the Vampire Slayer (make it anime and you’ve got yourself a deal). Just don’t put Buffy in the title if you’re not using Sarah Michelle Gellar. These people couldn’t make a kick ass movie the first time, I can’t imagine they’d be able to do it now. I’m sorry, but nobody in that cabal has JJ Abrams‘ franchise rebooting credentials. They would need Joss even if it wasn’t about Buffy.

Of course, even if they made that movie, there’s no guarantee that it wouldn’t flop. But you can guarantee that if it does move forward with the Buffy name but without Joss or Sarah involved, the outrage that accompanied McG’s attempt to make an American version of Spaced will seem like a light scolding. It’s not so much that McG (Terminator Salvation director) wanted to remake Spaced (my all-time favorite television comedy series), it’s that he said he was making it WITHOUT EVER CONTACTING OR CONSULTING THE PEOPLE WHO CREATED THE ORIGINAL AND MADE IT WHAT IT IS!!! Same goes for this so-called Buffy remake. I don’t care if the brilliant JJ Abrams wanted to remake Buffy (and he can do no wrong in my eyes)! If he doesn’t consult with the Master, Joss Whedon, he has no place in remaking Buffy. I can understand someone wanting to remake Buffy 20 or 30 years after the the phenomenon ended and Sarah Michelle Gellar was no longer able to kick up her stylish but affordable boots and spike her share of vampires as she did in her youth, then yes, remake Buffy for a new generation. But Sarah can still kick ass with the best of them. Edward Cullen wouldn’t last a minute with her… although I’m sure she’d probably have the urge to boff him before getting around to slaying him. He IS a sexy vampire after all. And she has a… thing… for vampires. It’s complicated. But that complication is no reason to start from scratch. So until we hear from Joss himself that he’s involved (in charge!), the existence of this movie will be found until the end of days. Although Tamaki the Vampire Slayer does have a nice ring to it…